This is the last week of class for us, so we only had one day to talk about this weeks topic. We made a timeline of a persons life and when we would expect normal events to take place. These included birth, development, marriage, children, work, buying a house, children moving out, becoming empty-nesters, becoming grandparents, retirement, serving a couples mission, the death of a spouse, becoming less independent, doing family history work, and death. There were more in between, but those were the ones that I thought were most important. A big topic in our class was how so much happens from birth to about your 30's then things slow down dramatically, and we had trouble coming up with things that happen beyond your 50's. It's interesting because I also had trouble with it and kind of have this idea that nothing really happens after 50 but then I think about my parents and how they are approaching their 60's next year and still have so much going on and so much ahead of them. But I also thought about what great lives they have right now because they have time to focus on things that really matter like family, especially grand children, each other, church involvement, and accomplish things that they have been dreaming of for quite some time now like buying a cabin for our family to come to, travel, do hobbies, and just spoil their children and grand children to death. So our lives are very full from the start to the end, and we just need to enjoy what's happening right now and not worry too much about what's ahead or the past.

This week, we talked about divorce and remarriage. I think I was interested to learn about this subject because I really don't have any personal experience with divorce or remarriage. The only person I really have any connection to divorce with is my best friend back home. Her mom was divorced pretty early on in her marriage when she was fairly young. So her parents aren't divorced from each other, but her mom is divorced. It doesn't effect their family a lot because they are very civil about the divorce, still have contact, and they had a child together that keeps them on good terms and involved. It is a little weird for my best friend to have her sister only be a half sister, but it doesn't interfere with their relationship. Sometimes holidays get a little complicated, but it's nothing huge. So that's really the only experience I have with divorce and remarriage. But I have never really seen or been involve with a bad divorce where things were really complicated so it was interesting for me to learn about it. I think it's so great that Brother Williams has a successful blended family and that you would never even know that they aren't blood related. I know it took a lot of work to get where they were but they are proof that even in the unfortunate even of a divorce, you can recover from it and still have a successful and loving family.

This week we talked about parenting. In the church we are known for being big on roles, in this case, meaning that the women stay at home with the kids and be a homemaker, and the men go to work and provide for the family. Being a stay at home mom is something that I have always dreamed about and been passionate about and it is also one of the reasons that I am studying marriage and family in college. I had a stay at home mom growing up and it meant the world to me to have my mom at home waiting and be able to fulfill her role as a wife and mother to the best of her abilities without having to worry about the income or finances. I want that comfort that I felt at home for my children because it created a home environment that I wanted to be in and come home to everyday. I think it also played a huge part in the spirit that we had in our home. These are things that money cannot buy and that would never out weigh the blessings that come from a mom staying at home, being a wonderful wife, mother, and homemaker. It wasn't something I always saw for myself, I always wanted to work and be a mom and thought that there was nothing wrong with that and that I could make it work. Once I got to college though, my views changed and my want to be a working mom disappeared. I'm glad it did because I realized how much it would impact my kids and I want to focus on nothing but my family and that this was the way Heavenly Father intended it to be. We, in our genders, have roles for a reason and even though we live in an evolving world and culture, God's law and intentions do not change.

This week, we learned about the importance of fathers in the home, it got me thinking about what I want for my future family after we had to write the fatherhood paper. I realized that when dating, I now not only need to date someone who love me and be a good husband, but love our children and be an amazing father. That is one of the most important things you can have in your family and now has me rethinking my dating life. That’s what I need to focus on more than things like his income, family, or looks. The other thing we talked about was the importance of finances in our marriage and families. This is a tough subject for me because I think about it a lot and wonder how much of an influence it should have on who I marry. I know that I need to marry someone that is good with finances and makes safe, realistic, and smart decisions with money, especially because I'm not the best at this, but how much money he is going to make should also play a part in my decision. It is realistic to think that the lifestyle that you grew up with will change in marriage and you have to be ready for that. You also have to know that if he makes less money than you are used to that it will be a difficult change. I grew up with money and I am the last child by quite a few years, so I am willing to admit that I am indeed spoiled. I grew up with nice things being important so it's hard for me think that I will have to choose to not have all nice things if I marry someone that makes less money than what I grew up with. So I guess my problem is that I have to decide how much that will effect my marriage and will it put stress on it.I guess this is something that will come up more when I'm dating someone seriously, but it's definitely something that was brought up with this topic this week in class.

This week in class, we talked about how to communicate within our marriages and our families and how we do it effects both of those. We have all heard about how important communication is in our marriages and how it can make or break a marriage. I think people usually assume it's either there or it's not and that's what determines the success of their marriage. This is far from the truth. The key is really how you communicate. Knowing how to argue, and making sure that communication is a priority even when you are busy with work, kids, and other outside influences in your marriage. As members of the church, we also need to remember to keep God in our marriage and the decisions we make. I love all the examples of Brother Williams being blessed by him and his wife involving the Lord in all their decisions. They didn't always know how or why they were to do something, but they knew that it was the will of the Lord and that was all that mattered and they eventually were able to see why it happened they way it did and the blessings that came from it. I think that would have a huge impact on marriages for the good because when a big decision needs to be made there is often a lot of stress and that can influence the way we talk about it or even the decision itself and that could result in bad decisions, but if we involve the Lord, we can have a clear mind, make the decision with good intent, and have it not pull spouses apart, but bring them closer together. As long as we keep respect and love in our marriage when communicating and involve the Lord, there isn't a lot of room for error, and even more room for growth and love.

This week, talking about families under stress and how they deal with them, the first thing that came to mind was Brother Williams and how much his family history played a part in his future family, their trials, stress, and how it helped him through it and prepare for it. When doing family history, he saw a trend of the oldest son in most families died. Even in his immediate family, he had brothers die, so this was something very real to him and close to his heart. I can't speak for him, but I think when he learned that about his family in past generations, it helped him cope with the loss of his brothers and the effect it had on his family. I think it also helped him realize how precious life is and that made him not take his children for granted. I haven’t done a lot of family history myself but I know that it’s something I want to do eventually because the blessings will help me and my future family in ways that I otherwise wouldn’t be able to do. Hearing the stories about what people have learned from doing family history is both inspiring and exciting. In my patriarchal blessing, it says that I will help many people by doing family history and will enjoy it greatly, so that is something I am looking forward to when I have the time and resources to do so.

This week, we only met once so we only had one day to talk about the subject of sexuality. However, it still had a big impact and made me think a lot about how I want to approach this subject with my family in the future. Growing up, our family did not speak anything about sexuality, didn't get "the talk," and it was honestly just an awkward subject that wasn't to be talked about. I want this to be different in my family in the future because our culture today has a very skewed image and interpretation of what sex should be and they plaster their wrong views of it all over the media. It’s in the songs we hear, the shows we watch, and everything we see on the internet. It’s almost impossible to get away from it these days! They teach that it’s all about fun and getting what you want. We know that that is far from the truth. It is about sharing love, becoming one, and being selfless. That is why it is so important to talk to your children about sexuality. Tell them the truth about it so that when they see, hear, and read what the media has to say about it, they know the truth and don’t get wrong ideas in their heads.

When talking about divorce in this class, Brother Williams once spoke of how many divorces these days happen because they say “their relationship wasn’t fun anymore.” I think that is such a selfish reason for divorce. Marriage is not always going to be fun, especially after the infatuation fades. However, people also can’t just break the promises and covenants that they made just because they aren’t enjoying it anymore. I think that means that they just aren’t working hard enough on it anymore. Marriage is hard and takes a lot of work, you just need to make sure that you are always working on it. When dating, a lot of it is filled with infatuation and fun because so much is new and exciting and even when you know you're going to get married, it is still fun because you have the excitement of the wedding and transitioning into marriage with the person you love. However, people that get let down in marriage because of these reasons need to realize that it's about raising a righteous family and constantly working to show your spouse that you love them, they are important, and that you are sticking with your commitment to them and the Lord that you would make the best of this love and marriage. When people can realize that, I think they will have more successful marriages, families, and cultures.

This week in class, we talked about preparing for marriage and dating. With that, we talked about what should influence you when dating and what should be involved when dating. A lot of times, when dating, many people, myself included, expect a lot from their dating partner. I agree that you should expect a lot from someone who you have the potential to marry but the problem comes when you expect things that you aren’t doing yourself. One main example from my life I can think of is I want someone who I am dating to be at devotional every week because it tells a lot about who they are and what they want, yet it is a rare occasion that I am there myself! So that is something that I really took away from our dating unit. Expect a lot from a potential marriage partner, but also hold yourself to those same standards.Also, there is a problem with people not being realistic about who they marry. Emotional connections and feelings for someone you are dating are not only important, but necessary. When we develop feelings for someone, we start to be driven by them and begin to feel the effects of infatuation. Infatuation is also a very important thing and a good thing when handled correctly. As humans, infatuation is necessary because we would not get married if it did not exist. However, I think many couples these days misinterpret the feelings as love when it’s too early and then rush into marriage because of these strong feelings. People need to be more aware of this and realize that while feelings are important, they should not determine who we marry. God still expects us to make realistic decisions for marriage and marry based on compatibility and when the infatuation fades, be confident in the fact that you will still be able to love them regardless of their faults and trials when they come along.

This week, we talked about gender roles and homosexuality, it is a tough topic, but I learned a lot. Learning about homosexuality in this class was really eye opening. I learned so much about it and was able to clarify a lot about them, why they are the way they are, and how they can be helped. It is not the end of the world if someone, especially in the church, has feelings of homosexuality because it is something that can be helped and stems from problems out of their control that played a big part in their development. I learned that we need to just love them and by doing that, we can help them know what to do. I thought it was so interesting that it never starts with a sexual desire like our culture often says, but that it starts with a want for an emotional bond with the opposite sex. Homosexuality is harshly misunderstood and I’m glad that I had the opportunity to learn about it so that I can share this knowledge.
As members of the church, we’ve always been told that gender is something very sacred and a crucial part to who we are in this life and the next. God never makes mistakes when it comes to gender and we should embrace our genders and the roles that come with them. They are divine roles and are not to be messed with. Satan is working hard to confuse gender and it’s roles and he’s done a pretty good job so far, but we need to know that it is so important and should not be taken lightly. 

This week in class was very eye opening and interesting to me. We talked a lot about how family systems vary, interact, and influence each other. I thought it was interesting because we were able to evaluate our own families and discuss why they are the way they are. It was cool to hear all the other experiences my fellow class mates had as well to broaden our views and start to think about families outside of our own so that in the future, we can help other families that we may be able to relate to very well. Our professor illustrated this well by bringing up students, assigning them roles in a family, and giving them a specific family trial that they were going through, then he gave them counsel with the help of the class. So it was cool to get a little taste of what a family counseling session might look like and be able to start thinking like a marriage and family counselor. It was also cool to see how family systems interact first hand and see it play out through this family and be able to possibly identify what they were doing and why. These family system theories are so importnat and what I've found to be the basis of family counseling.

This week, we talked some about the effect the Facebook can have on your marriage. I think the problems associated with it can be applied to many influences on marriage today. Be aware of what you are doing when your spouse isn’t watching and be aware of what you do and if your spouse would approve of it. I remember a past marriage professor once told us that there should be no boundaries of communication in your marriage. If there is something that you don’t want your spouse to know, you have a problem and need to fix it. So I think when we are at work, with friends, on Facebook, or doing whatever we do, we need to think of the implications it will have on our marriages. We also talked about how social class effects our families and the structures within it. It was a real eye opener of how much outside influences can effect our marriages and families, whether it be for good or for bad. It was a good reminder for dating on how to be very aware of how much differences in people can effect your relationship even if you love each other and have a lot in common.

Here we go!

So this week, in class, a lot of what we learned about was finding out for yourself what is true. There are so many misconceptions out there, especially about the family, and the reason they are so widespread is because not enough people take the time to learn what is true for themselves. This is why I love studying marriage and family, I believe our culture is out of touch with the reality of what our culture has turned marriage and family into, and I want to make a difference and show everyone I can what marriage and family can be. It has such a negative picture painted about them and it's just such a shame because marriage and families can be the greatest source of happiness, people just don't know it. That's why these studies are so important and I'm extremely happy to be apart of it and try to make a difference.